An interesting thing happened to me this week.  I got asked to begin blogging publicly for my employer.  What??

About a year ago, I decided to start blogging regularly.  I’d blog here at fauie.com, I’d blog on LinkedIn and try to maintain myself on Twitter.

About 10 months ago, I got asked to build a video course on Neo4J, a NoSQL/graph database.

Before that decision a year ago, I was petrified of speaking or writing publicly.

“But Chris, you’re super smart, and funny and all the folks like you!” – said no one

Even if they did say that, it doesn’t matter.  The level of self-doubt that I held was paralyzing.   I knew I could code, I knew I could design big integrated solutions of software, but man, writing? Not my thing.

I was always afraid of not being the ‘best’.  I was always comparing myself to the smart people I know.  I was worried that people might not read what I put out there…   Imposter syndrome is an amazingly hindering affliction.   It’s real.

I’m not sure if it was just the right time, or my maturity or just realization that it didn’t matter if I was the best, but I started writing, and I’m really enjoying it!   Some people read my blog, some people listen to my podcasts, but you know what?  I’m having a blast doing it.

I’m not the smartest.

I’m not the most eloquent.

I don’t use the biggest of words.

…. but that’s OK.  I am me, I know what I know, and I have the experiences that I have, which no one in the world can duplicate.

STAGE FRIGHT!

I realized it was stage fright.  Essentially, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, really – fear of fear.

Once I started creating, I can’t stop.   It’s kind of all I think about.  I have so many blog post ideas, so many podcasts planned, and I’m SUPER excited about it…

bring it on!

Podcast feed: https://fauie.com/podcast